Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Phoenix, AZ.

To all of our friends who are familiar with Phoenix.
Only someone from or familiar with, the Phoenix area would understand
this, and the really funny thing is that this is all so true!

1. 'Phoenix' actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, Mesa,
Gilbert, Glendale, Peoria, Tolleson, Avondale, Goodyear, Litchfield Park,
Sun City, Sun City West, Sun City Grand, Sun Lakes, Surprise, Laveen,
Apache Junction, Gold Canyon, and half of the Mexican border.

2. The morning rush hour is from 4:00 am to noon.

The evening rush hour is from noon to 9:00 PM.

Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph.

On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number.

Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.

For example, cars/trucks with the loudest mufflers go first at a four-way
stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in the East
Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.

It's an offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix.

Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the night to
make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, dogs, barrels, cones,
cats, mattresses, shredded tires, armchairs, rabbits, vultures, javelinas,
roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the 'I-10' are the same road.

SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain Freeway.

Dunlap and Olive are the same street too.
Northern and Shea are the same street.

Also Glendale Ave. becomes Lincoln Drive.
Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street.

I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans
Memorial Highway.

The Superstition is also known as US 60.

The 101, 202 and 303 remain a large mystery to most of us.

It is not yet determined if there is a Red Mountain and a San Tan or just a
Red/Tan Mountain.

The SR51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway.

because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to pronounce and offensive to
Native Americans.

SR101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black
Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY.

Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. -- but, Cactus Rd. doesn't
become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it has been 'accidentally

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly.

If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

13. Please note that there are many, MANY more issues to the phenomenon of
driving in Phoenix-- like the 4-cars-through-a-red-light rule -- but these
will at least get you acquainted with our unique life on the road.

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